Original author unknown, plus rebuttals by Mary Pyle

1. He is an ideal companion as a pet. He will follow you, love you, and amuse you all day and every day.

You are graciously allowed to share your bed & board with him. You will trip on him, and watch him laugh at your clumsiness.

2. He is a born sportsman. He will turn his nose to anything above ground, while below ground, he will, given his chance, hold his own with the best. Dachshunds were originally bred to dig badgers out of holes.

He will chase all pet cats, birds, & dogs from his exclusive territory (which is as far as the eye can see). He will also roto-till your fresh-laid lawn and new flower beds.

3. He is a born gentleman. His aloof dignity is above canine skylarking and petty yelping.

What they don't want to see and don't want to hear does not exist.

4. He is courageous to a remarkable degree and will stand up for his rights against any foe.

From behind a fence there is none braver.

5. He is odorless, always clean and easily housebroken.

You'd be odorless too from the daily baths needed made necessary because of finding "neat" things to roll in. House - broken is more like it. (Know a good handyman?)

6. He comes in several sizes, colors and coats to suit your special taste. The tiny miniatures also come in all three coats and colors; smooth, longhaired and wirehaired, and from a beautiful shiny black and tan to a rich Irish Setter red. There is no other breed which offers such a selection.

They are like peanuts, you can't stop with just one, and there is always a new variety or color or size to drool over.

7. He has a well founded reputation for being rugged and strong. Equally at home in either cold or warm climates.

If it is cold, they are in your bed or in their sweater. If hot, they grab the seat in front of the air conditioner and drink out of your ice tea glass.

8. He asks only that he be with you whether you live in a mansion or the most humble abode. He is at your side day and night and he will warn you if any strangers are lurking about.

He is willing to share all you have, if you eat dog food, he'll eat dog food. If you have steak, he gets steak ! You couldn't get rid of him if you wanted, and anybody stranger than you SHOULD get barked at.

9. He is most affectionate, and delights in riding in your car or sleeping close to you (if you will let him) at night, but he is content with his own bed and a simple cover that he can pull over his head, with just a shiny black nose to show his presence. Just to be near you and show his love for you is all he asks.

He is not stupid enough to let a good sucker out of his sight. People are such pushovers for the old "I love you, I love you" routine.

10. He is a wonderful companion for your children, and will take a lot of rough play and enter into the spirit of fun, for he is a born comedian. You can trust a Dachshund for they have never been known to betray a confidence.

They love kids, the younger the better, children can be blamed for so much that the "sweet li'l puppy wuppy" couldn't possibly have done (they don't realize how tall a fully stretched Dachshund can reach). A Dachshund will never write a tell-all unauthorized biography, but don't leave your pot roast within reach.



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